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It’s all in the body

• john
• February 17, 2017

I was negotiating with a business associate the other day and he was giving me mixed signals that made me very uncomfortable to say the least. On one hand he was telling me that every thing I was asking for in this particular transaction would not be a problem, but on the other hand he looked like he was saying, NO WAY STEVE, with his body language.

What to do? Well I decided to go ahead with the transaction to see how it would come together and low and behold it all fell apart over night. In retrospect I should have never of moved forward until I felt the body language was in sink with his words. By moving on I was only fooling myself and wasting time.

Being able to read others and even more importantly effect others with your own moods is a great skill rooted in Emotional Intelligence. Daniel Goleman,who is an expert on emotional intelligence writes about the benefits of being able to manage other peoples emotions in his book Emotional Intelligence, “Being able to manage emotions in someone else is the core of the art of handling relationships”. Emotional Intelligence is the #1 tool that we all have the ability to use and help us deal with every aspect of our life’s.

In the future I will write much more on emotional intelligence as I have committed my studies and my core beliefs to this approach in life. Daniel writes “At best. IQ contributes about 20 percent to the factors that determine life success, which leaves 80 percent to other forces”. These other forces are skills such as emotional intelligence.

Quote of the day,

If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.
Daniel Goleman

Steve Whiteside is a consultant specializing in organizational development, leadership and motivational workshops. You can contact him at, 604-786-5677.

Asking the question, finds the answer

• john
• February 17, 2017

In my last posting I talked about communication—but the listening side more then the talking side of communication. Next, I want to talk about the next part of my definition of sales: Need. This is an important part of the sales process. A customer must not only need your product, but also be fully aware why they need it.

For example, when a potential client visits one of my colleges, they are pretty aware that they need to go back to school. This is because they are usually unemployed and lack the skills for employment, or they are under employed and lack the skills to get a better job. However, many of these clients don’t know why they really need to come back to school, nor do they know why my school is their best option. My job is to help them find out why they need to come back to school and why they need my school.

The first thing I want to make sure of is that I will not waste their time. I will not say the same old things all the other schools will tell them, like: We have 99% placement; We have the best teachers; We will promise them the world if they come to our school. No, to the contrary, I will ask them questions so they can find the answers they need.

Our discussion will go like this.

School – So, why do you want to come to our school?

Student – Well, I need the skills to get a better job.

School – You seem like a nice person, why don’t you go out, find a company, and ask them to hire you?  Tell them you lack the necessary skills, but are very nice and will work hard?

Student – No one will hire me like that, without skills, no matter how nice I am.

School – Why not?

Student – Well, they need the best person possible to make the hire. They do not want to hire the wrong person, then have to let them go, and go through the expense of hiring again.

School – If you decided to come to our school and gain skills, do you think you will get the skills to get the job you want?

Student – Yes (Close)

School – So, if you come here, you will get a good job, right?

Student – Right (Close)

This is allowing a client to discover the answers for themselves. It works much better then telling them the answers. When they find the answers, the sale really works, and you will not mislead the client either. It builds the relationship in the right way. You can help the client find out what their need is just by asking a few questions. Then you can make sure they feel your product is right for their needs with just a few more questions.

Remember: never say what your client expects you to say. Always let your client find their own answers. Do not “positive sale” talk like all the other people out there. Help paint pictures for your client, and find out how they feel about it. Like in my last post, listening is key in being successful in almost anything. Above all be honest, fair, and real!

I assure you this works. Go ahead, try it. What do you have to lose? For just one day, don’t sound like all the other sales people out there; be different, be real. It works!

Make the hard choices now, they only get harder!

• john
• February 17, 2017

From canceling a contract to dealing with a team member who is not pulling their weight, it is always better to deal with these situations sooner than later. It makes good sense, but why don’t we do it? It is human nature to put off things that don’t feel good, while we try to rush the things that do feel good. What ends up happening is, the good is over and we have a lot of bad to deal with.

I find it helpful to do a bit of a paradigm shift and turn the difficult subjects into more present ones. I can do this by focusing on the outcomes, rather then on the task at hand. If I need to have a difficult talk with a team member, I do not focus on the conversation, but rather I focus on the result of the conversation. This way, not only will I be sure to deal with the issue in a more timely fashion, I will, in the hours before the conversation, be able to focus on good and positive thoughts that can only help me think of solutions rather then fear-based choices.

This seems to work for me whether I am dealing with my work place, family, or consulting. I aim to focus on the positive and work my way around the rest. I should also note that this does not always come natural to me at all times, but with a little practice, I have become much more in tuned with this important behaviour in myself.

Leadership Quote,

“The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.”
Albert Einstein

Steve Whiteside is a consultant specializing in organizational development, leadership and motivational workshops. You can contact him at, 604-786-5677.

Opening the Johari Window

• john
• February 17, 2017

I was giving a seminar at the Academy of Learning on Friday, and I ended up learning as much as the recipients who listened to my presentation. The Johari Window is a great tool to learn more effective communication.

When working with the Johari Window, the goal for most people is to move the pane to enlarge the open panel and shrink the Blind spot, Facade (also known as the Hidden area), and the Unknown area.

The reason being: the more open we are to others, the better we will be able to communicate. The less we hide from others, and the less that is hidden from us, the better we will be able to communicate with others.

1. Shrink the blind spot by asking for feedback from others.
2. Tell others more about you through self-disclosure to others.

Merely sharing information about yourself is not enough to open that window and start a better flow of communication. You should also ask others about what they know and what they feel. Opening the blind area of the window is sometimes the most difficult thing to do; this opens us up to a risk of humiliation and allows others to share judgments of us and how we are perceived. If you can embrace this skill and invite feedback from others honestly and without fear, you will not only be able to open this pane of the Johari Window, but you will open a whole world of possibilities as well.

When we allow ourselves to communicate openly and freely to and from others, we are building relationships that can help us accomplish anything. All too often, managers share too much and ask very little, or managers ask a lot and share nothing. This is not an effective way to communicate with others.

So, here are a few tips to stay in balance and help build effective communication with others.

1. Ask for Feedback – Let others know you care about what they think. Make sure they understand you, do not think you know it all. Their opinion counts; therefore, make sure they know you are relying on there opinion.
2. Self-Disclosure – Share things about yourself with others. Make sure people around you know what you think, so they can come to understand you. If you take for granted that people understand what you are thinking, you will be disappointed.
3. Others’ Observations – You do not have to agree with others to understand and respect what they are saying and feeling. When you can have a true understanding of how others perceive you and things around you, then you have the real opportunity to affect change around you.
4. Self-Discovery – As you share things with others, this is the perfect time for you to find out more about yourself. Work on self-discovery, find out more about yourself, and share this with others. As you share more about yourself, space will open to also learn more about yourself.
5. Shared Discovery – Work on things together as a team. Even if you are a manager, you can work with your team on an even playing field and come up with answers together.

Use the Johari Window in any way that is meaningful to you. Remember, effective communication is up to you and no one else. If we want to become more effective communicators, we need to take 100% responsibility for it. As we do this, effective communication becomes easier every day. As we gain more from this open communication, the Johari Window will only motivate us to do it more and become better communication experts.

Image one was obtained from: http://www.simply-communicate.com/magazine/
Image two was obtained from: http://hsc.uwe.ac.uk/net/mentor/Default.aspx?pageid=121

Steve Whiteside is a consultant specializing in organizational development, leadership and motivational workshops.
You can contact him at, 604-786-5677.

Remuneration, It’s only money!

• john
• February 17, 2017

This is part three of my post on sales. In my first post, I talked about my definition of sales “as an act of communication, where one person gives to another person what they need, and some kind of renumeration is traded. “I have already spoken to the communication and need parts of this definition. In this posting, I will talk about remuneration; by this, I mean the customer paying for the product.

The truth most will find hard to believe is: cost is no big deal. If you have established with the client that they need the product and they are sitting in front of you, cost has already gone through their mind, and they are still there. The only issue is: They must place a value to the item equal to what you are charging. The key here is equal value. This does not mean we must lower the price to the perceived value; it means we must raise the perceived value to the price of the product.

The goal in this portion of your presentation is to find out where the value is for the client. Then allow the client to explain why the value is there for them. For example, if you are selling frames for a pair of glasses that cost $1,000, you must find out why this value is there for your client. There is a reason the client is looking at these $1,000 frames, instead of Wal Mart’s $150 frames. The discussion might look like this…

Store – Do you like those frames?

Client – Yes, I do. Do you?

Store – I do. They look very distinguished, but you are the one who must like them. How do you feel about them?

Client – Well, I do like them.

Store – Why do you like them?

Client – Well, they are classy, professional, and can also be casual.

Store – How do they make you feel?

Client – I don’t know, maybe a a bit more confident.

Store – Yes, when we look good, we feel good.

Client – Ya, I would really like to have these.

Of course, the above conversation is going to be a bit more in-depth and longer, but I hope you get the idea.  The store’s job or your job is to ask questions and allow the client to explore for themselves why the product will work for them. If you facilitate this type of purchasing experience, you will have a much better chance of not blowing the sale, and more importantly, you will build trust and get repeat business and referrals.

Funny enough, my next post is on trust, so this would be a great place to stop and have you think a bit about these concepts of value, communication, and need to use with your future clients. Remember, you can tell the client all the reasons why they should buy from you, but nothing will help unless they tell themselves why they should buy from you. The object here is to help facilitate that discussion.

Why should you use a facilitator

• john
• February 17, 2017

The other day, I was asked by a franchisee in a large franchise organization: “What are the benefits of having a facilitator at a Franchisee meeting?” First, I started to think that the answer was obvious, then I decided to quiet my brain, and I came to understand what a good question it was, so I spent some time really thinking on it.

First thing I thought was: Many franchisees get together and have meetings and talk, complain, and say what they could do better if only the Franchisor or the economy or the cycle of their business and so on was different or better. I have been a part of many of these meetings as a franchisee and as a business owner or board member, and I must say they can be exciting, but little usually comes from these types of meetings. I further believe that even when positive things do come out of the meeting, they could have been even better with an outside set of eyes, someone who has no personal outcome in mind.

If you were planning a dinner for 100 close friends and family, would you cook this meal or hire a caterer? More than likely, you would hire a caterer. Why? So it went well, so the food was the best it could be, and ultimately, so you would have the best outcome. The same principles hold true when planning a meeting amongst different franchisees, who may have different situations, goals, and expectations. This would allow you to be a part of the discussion and not allow any one franchisee to control the direction or feel of the meeting.

When you bring together say 6 to 10 franchisees, you are using $10,000 to $20,000 of talent for that meeting. To spend 10% of that on a facilitator would be more of an investment in your franchisees’ time and would be reflective of than just the cost of doing business. Once you have the brain power in one room, use it wisely.

Here are some things I do when I facilitate a meeting for franchise organizations:

• Meet in advance with someone in the group to find out what the goal and expectations are for the meeting and help set an agenda;
• Break the ice at start of meeting using a tools or activities that are effective and will build the relationship between the people that are there, and help them better reach their  goals;
• Explain agenda at start of meeting and get buy-in from everyone;
• Set rules, if needed, on how meeting will develop and aim for buy-in from all;
• Facilitate the agenda and move each item forward;
• Help keep control of meeting and, most importantly, the focus; often, focus is the most difficult problem a group struggles with;
• Help each member have a voice in the discussion and try to make sure all members have the chance to voice ideas, concerns, and issues;
• Keep the meeting on a positive track, and always make sure that the discussion will move the agenda forward, or in some cases, ask if the group would like to change the agenda;
• Move the group towards consensus, with clear goals and action items agreed on, as well as timelines and who is responsible for the action items;
• Take time at the end of the meeting to make sure everyone said what was needed and that no one walks away with unsaid items;
• Have the group evaluate the meeting for strengths and weaknesses that can be built on for next meeting;
• In some cases, I will work with the person taking the notes and make sure they have been written accurately and that they represent the meeting appropriately.

As one may notice, these items are really a recipe for a successful meeting and a chance to strengthen relationships, goals, and your own business. A facilitator will take it upon themselves to make sure all of the above happen in a meaningful way, so that all the members of the meeting can focus on the real issues. I usually suggest one member take notes or bring someone in to take notes because that is something I never enjoy doing. I am all about the human relations, focus, and success of the meeting. Quite often, we use flip charts, from which notes can be taken very easily.

If you agree with these points that I have written, I can assure you a facilitator will actually cost you less than you think; it is well worth the small investment. If you can walk away from the meeting with goals, tasks, and a positive attitude that will allow you to carry out what needs to be done, you have had a successful meeting. A facilitator will work to make sure that is exactly what happens, and then some. That is real value: to receive more than what you paid for. I certainly hope that is what all of my clients feel when they have hired me to facilitate a meeting or a strategic planning session.

Steve Whiteside is an executive coach and consultant specializing in organizational development, leadership and motivational workshops, with small and medium sized companies as well as franchise organizations. You can contact him at, 604-786-5677.

Effective Meetings Require These 7 Things

• john
• February 17, 2017

I can along this blog posting by Bruna Martinuzzi and thought it would be a good share. We think often what our meetings should include but sometimes we need to remember what our mistakes could be and work not to make these mistakes. This blog posting points out some of the do not’s, I usually like to talk about the do’s but in this case as it is not my original work I feel the do not’s will work just fine.

You may run a great meeting, but if you’re doing any of these seven things at the very end, you’re wasting your efforts and your employees’ time.

As the English proverb goes, “Time is the soul of business.” What are the biggest time thieves in business? Research shows that, next to conversations at the water cooler and computer and software problems, meetings are the biggest culprit. They are an insidious productivity killer for small-business owners.

Well-conducted meetings can lead to enhanced communication and greater buy-in and consensus. However, many meetings fail to achieve objectives because the person running the meeting didn’t plan the end properly. Do you do any of the following at the end of your meetings?

1. Not paying attention to the “meeting after the meeting.”

Someone who holds a meeting after the meeting, usually behind closed doors, to disagree with a course of action is hurting productivity. End with a “closing round” to give everyone a chance to comment on the meeting out in the open. Often, this unveils issues you can address to prevent them from surfacing later. As Ev Williams, co-creator of Twitter and Medium, explains, in a closing round “there is no discussion or back-and-forth allowed. People tend to talk for less than 30 seconds (often a lot less), so you could close a large, 10-person meeting in less than five minutes …The closing round is worth doing, because it gives everyone, in a sense, a ‘last word’—the chance to get something off their chests that they might otherwise carry around or whisper to their colleagues later.”

In his seminal book, Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make The Leap … And Others Don’t, author Jim Collins researched highly successful companies and found that one of their practices is to unify behind decisions. No matter how heated and vigorous the debate is in search of the best answers, when they leave the meeting, people stand united regardless of parochial interests. If this is not the norm in your company, confront team members to change the culture.

2. Failing to designate responsibility.

How often have we attended meetings, or strategic retreats, where the gathering ends with a lot of excitement and decisions to pursue new directions, only to see it all fizzle a few weeks later? This is because the meeting ended with no clear accountability on who will do what. Apple has a system it calls the Directly Responsible Individual (DRI). This is assigning one individual, not a team, to be responsible for an action item.

In this video, Adam Lashinsky of Fortune magazine explains how the DRI concept establishes accountability and helps a giant company such as Apple function like a small startup. All meetings at Apple have an action list, and next to each action item is the DRI. Consider following this model so you eliminate any confusion on who’s responsible for what at the end of each meeting.

3. Not following up on action items.

A surprisingly common problem with meetings is not having a system in place to follow up on action items, making sure people do what they say they’ll do. Use Outlook’s Meeting Workspace Site to track tasks. (Here are step-by-step instructions on how to do this.) You can also use a system such as After The Meeting, which allows you to easily and effectively track action items assigned in a meeting.

4. Taking too long to share notes from the meeting.

Meeting notes are crucial to help everyone remember what was discussed and decided. Often, the designated note taker makes detailed notes but they are either distributed too late or not distributed at all. One way to get around this problem is to use a program such as minutes.io, which helps you minute your meetings easily and make notes available to everyone without delay. It’s free and you don’t need to be connected to the Internet during the meeting to use it. Two other note taking tools that will help you simplify your meeting process are OneNote and Less Meeting.

5. Not evaluating the meeting.

Ending each meeting without evaluating how it went is a surefire way to ensure that unproductive behaviors and procedures will be repeated from meeting to meeting. You show respect for people’s time and efforts when you take a moment at the end of each meeting to check in on how people feel about the meeting. A simple, “What worked well?” and “What could we improve?” can yield useful information that will save time in the future. You can even designate someone to monitor the meeting and provide a brief, verbal report at the end. Consider, as well, using a system such as Google Forms to create a survey that’s sent out periodically after an important meeting.

6. Not ending the meeting on time.

One of the worst practices in meetings is not respecting the announced ending time. Frequently, this is due to the meeting starting late, or the meeting chair letting some team members ramble on or go off topic. Take an inspiration from Google, which often has a giant timer on the wall to exert subtle pressure and prevent meetings from running off schedule. As author Carmine Gallo explains, “It’s literally a downloadable timer that runs off a computer and is projected 4 feet tall.”

7. Ending a meeting at a bad time.

Often, customers, employees or other stakeholders who work in others cities join the meeting by phone. When these individuals are in different time zones, they sometimes have to excuse themselves from the meeting just before the meeting is concluded. This can result in inefficiencies as they may miss last-minute details of what was decided concerning action items that are their responsibility. Make an effort to schedule meetings that take into account optimal times for everyone’s attendance. Use the World Clock Meeting Planner to help you in this regard.

By Bruna Martinuzzi